


montgomery

by captain_kriegy



Category: Station 19 (TV)
Genre: Abortion, Catholicism, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, Past Sexual Abuse, Sex Work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:48:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26203684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captain_kriegy/pseuds/captain_kriegy
Summary: anna and vic meet an abortion clinic in montgomery and share a weekend they'll never forget.context: anna is danielle savre's character from too close to home. you do NOT have to have seen too close to home to follow this fic, but it does contain spoilers for too close to home.
Relationships: Anna Hayes/Victoria Hughes
Kudos: 10





	montgomery

**Author's Note:**

> hi everyone! as i mentioned, you don't have to have seen too close to home to read this fic. 
> 
> but, please, before you read, heed the warnings, particularly for discussions of past sexual abuse and sexual violence. if you have seen too close to home, you understand how these themes are integral to the show and anna's story. it is my goal to tell a truthful story from anna's perspective, but i also do not want anyone walking into this without knowing what they're getting into.

Anna grips the check in her pocket as she drives down the country road, still wearing her May Sally’s uniform. She pulls into the bank in town to cash it.

“Annie, darling! How are you?” The teller asks. He hasn’t seen her since before she left for D.C. Anna doesn’t remember his name, but she does remember the time he told her she had nice tits at the gas station. 

“Good, thanks,” She replies, quickly taking her money and leaving. He calls after her, telling her he wants to talk, and she scoffs to herself. She counts the cash sitting in the driver’s seat of Bonnie’s car, and then drives off when she’s satisfied it’s all there. She’s in a hurry to get to Montgomery before it gets too late. The drive is desolate and long, and Anna wishes she’d brought some food along for dinner. 

It’s dark when she gets to Montgomery, and Anna notes all the ways the city has changed since her last visit. But one place, it seems, has not: the Country Inn. She climbs into the back of her car and changes into her spaghetti strap tank top and jeans. 

“I’m here for Paul,” Anna tells the receptionist. She looks Anna up and down and takes a beat to respond. 

“Are you on the schedule?” 

“I’m not, but I was hoping he could make me a deal, cut me in, just for the night,” Anna insists. This is her only plan—there is no backup. “He knows what I’m good for,” she adds. 

“What’s your name, honey?”

“Bella.” 

Anna fidgets. This is the kind of move that could make her entire plan backfire. The kind of move that could even get her killed. 

“He says to come on back and he’ll see what he can do,” the receptionist tells her, wary. She wanders down the hall to the back common room, and pushes open the door, knots in her stomach. Paul is sitting on a couch, dressed in the same outfit Anna remembers him in: jeans, a wifebeater, and a flannel.

“Little Annie, what a nice surprise,” he taunts. “I think you can drop the whole ‘Bella’ act now that the whole world knows you’re the President’s whore.” 

“I want to cut a deal,” Anna says, pushing ahead and ignoring his comments. 

“Well, what are you offering?” 

“I need $300 before sunrise,” she starts. “I’m yours until then. I’ll do anything for anyone if you promise me the flat fee in the morning.” She knows he’ll make an absolute killing on her, but doesn’t care to barter for more. This is what she needs, and she’s not exactly in the best negotiating position. 

He scans her body, up and down. “You always did have nice tits.” 

“Is that a yes?” She asks. 

“I’ll call the girl on the schedule and tell her to take the night off,” he replies evenly. “You get out of that shirt.” 

Anna feels bad. She doesn’t know any of Paul’s girls, but she knows they probably need the money, too. She knows she’s getting preferential treatment because Paul knows he can lure people in here with the promise of getting to fuck the same girl who fucked the President. But this is the only way to make $300 overnight in Montgomery. 

Anna pulls off her tank top and takes a look around. The room is dirty, with abandoned items of clothing on the floor and visible stains on the bed. It smells like drugs and sex. The bed has the same navy blue sheets on it that it did the last time she was here. 

“How’s your daddy?” Paul asks, eyeing Anna. Anna swallows. 

“He’s fine.” 

“I heard he was in prison,” Paul pushes.

“He’s not anymore.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear that, then,” Paul replies. He lights a cigarette. “We’ve got thirty minutes until your first client. Do you want to warm up by showing me what you did to the President?” 

Anna nods. She knows that one wrong step, and whoever-he-called-off is going to be taking her slot and her $300. She smirks and walks over to kneel in front of him. He unsnaps her bra as she unbuttons his pants.

One step closer to freedom. 

It takes Anna an hour or so to get back into the swing of it. She hasn’t fucked men for money—in this way—since before she left Alabama, and there’s an art to it. There are parts of it she actually kind of likes—courting and dominating someone gives her a false sense of power. But for the most part, it’s just hard, grimy work. 

She’s starving and dehydrated and, by the end of the night, swears she will vomit if another man ejaculates in her mouth. Most of them want her to roleplay with him as if he’s the President. That’s an innocent enough gimmick, and doesn’t bother Anna much. It’s the men who come in with a vendetta that get on her nerves. She doesn’t care if they want to rough her up, but she does care when she’s genuinely not sure if they’re trying to kill her or not. Since she’s just there for the night, Paul has no real investment in her, and she’s confident his only motivation for protecting her would be so that he doesn’t have to hide her lifeless body.

In short, she doesn’t trust any of the people in this place, and would really prefer that these men keep their hands off her neck as a result. 

They close up shop at around 4am. Anna is covered in dried bodily fluids and red marks where bruises are forming on her body. She had almost forgotten the physical toll that it takes on her. She sneaks into the shower while Paul is chatting with the last visitor on his way out and collecting money from him. There are no towels, so when she gets out, she puts her jeans and tank top back on her wet body, her bra abandoned across the room after someone ripped it trying to get it off of her a couple of hours ago. Paul eyes her up and down as she emerges from the room. 

“I’ll add another 20 for an encore,” he offers. Anna scoffs. If she hadn’t just showered, she probably would’ve agreed to that, but she isn’t about to go walking around Montgomery with his ejaculate all over her. Anna takes the $300 from his outstretched hand.

“It was nice working with you,” Anna says, and turns to leave. 

“Tell your daddy I said hi?” He asks. Anna sighs inwardly. 

“Of course,” she promises. She gives the receptionist a small wave on her way out, and then climbs back into Bonnie’s car. She tosses her flannel on over her tank top and drives off to a more secluded place so that she can get a few hours of sleep. 

Anna’s phone alarm goes off at 10am. Her stomach growls, and she wishes she’d taken Paul up on the extra $20. Her best laid plans had essentially ignored the cost of food altogether. She buttons up flannel over her tank top, feeling frustrated that she hadn’t brought another bra with her. It’s not like she just had bras laying around, and it’s not like she could just borrow one from Bonnie. She gets behind the wheel and drives to her destination. She parks, and then walks around front towards the entrance. A few people sit out front in camping chairs, drinking beers and holding posters. She tries to avoid eye contact, but as soon as they see where she’s going, they start yelling after her. 

“ABORTION IS MURDER,” One of them yells. “GOD WILL PUNISH YOU.” 

Anna rolls her eyes and opens the door, closing it quickly behind her. She checks in with the receptionist, and then sits down in the waiting area. There’s only one other woman there. She’s tall and wearing a thigh length yellow dress. She’s absolutely stunning, and Anna can tell she’s not from Alabama. 

“They’re a lot,” the woman mentions, gesturing to the harassers outside. Anna nods. Her suspicion that the woman isn’t from Alabama is confirmed when she speaks without a southern accent. 

“I look forward to God punishing them,” Anna mumbles in response. The other girl laughs. 

“I’m Vic,” she says, crossing her legs. 

“Anna.” 

They’re silent for a moment, both trying to figure out if they’re interested in any more small talk. “You’re not from around here, are you?” Anna asks. 

“I’m from Seattle,” Vic replies. “Are you?”

“I’m from a small town a few hours from here,” Anna replies. 

“You don’t have a southern accent?” Vic asks, innocently. Anna fidgets with her fingers and sighs. 

“I lived up north for a few years,” Anna says. “What brings you to town?”

“Um, work,” Vic mumbles. “I’m a firefighter, I was called in to help with the tornado that hit Jackson.” 

“You’d think they could find someone closer than Seattle,” Anna teases. Vic smiles.

“Yeah, I volunteered, I was looking for a reason to get away for a little while,” she explains. Anna nods.

“I know a few things about trying to get away.” 

They sit in silence for a moment until Vic’s name is called. Anna is called in a few minutes later, and she’s so nervous she’s nauseous. 

“Under Alabama law, I have to show you the ultrasound and counsel you as to your other options, and after our appointment, the 48 hour waiting period will start running,” the PA explains. Anna nods. She’d never quite understood the outrage people had about the counselling requirement until she was there herself—after risking her life and selling her body for this, she was being lectured by a white man in his 50s about how she could put the baby up for adoption. She closes her eyes during the ultrasound, and she’s grateful he lets her. After he finishes his exam, he informs her that they can schedule the procedure in 48 hours, along with all of the potential risks. “Are you sure you want to proceed with this option after I have informed you of all of the potential alternatives?”

“I’m sure,” Anna replies. She signs all of the required paperwork and then heads back out to the waiting room to schedule her appointment for 48 hours later.

“It’s $150 today and $350 the day of the procedure,” the receptionist informs her. Anna nods, and hands over $150 in cash. When she turns to leave, she realizes Vic is sitting in the waiting area. Vic stands and walks over to her. 

“I was wondering if you maybe want to get lunch or something?” Vic asks, clearly a bit nervous. “I don’t know anyone in this town, and I don’t know if you do, but I figure it might be nice to have some company.”

Anna figures she maybe has $20 of wiggle room after the cost of gas, and she’ll be in town for three days. That’s approximately $7 per day. But she wants to leave herself at least a few dollars in case she gets in a bind at some point, so she was really hoping to only spend a few dollars per day on food. She figured maybe a McDonald’s drive thru once per day could get her enough food to make it until she got back to Happy. A sit down meal is not a financially feasible part of the plan. Vic sees Anna’s reaction all over her face and backtracks. 

“It’s totally fine, if you’re busy or don’t want to, we are strangers, after all,” Vic jokes. “No hard feelings, just thought company would be nice.” 

“Company does sound nice,” Anna says. She doesn’t want to tell Vic that she doesn’t have any money. 

“Okay…” Vic trails off, unsure what to say next. They’re at an awkward standoff, where Vic clearly has no idea why Anna is hesitating and Anna once again regrets turning down the extra $20. 

“I don’t have much cash on me,” Anna admits. She doesn’t know what compels her to say it, but something about Vic’s eyes catches her in a moment of vulnerability. 

“Oh my god, don’t worry about that, I invited you. It’s on me,” Vic insists. Anna laughs. 

“I don’t need you to pay for my food,” Anna insists. “I just don’t have the money to go eat right now.” 

Vic raises an eyebrow. “So you’d rather go hungry than let a beautiful woman buy you a meal?” Vic questions. Anna laughs. She’s missed women being flirty with her. Another clear indication Vic is not from around here. 

“Okay, one meal,” Anna agrees. She thinks she’s reading Vic right, and that she doesn’t have any ulterior motives. But then Anna realizes that even if she does, a decent meal is probably worth whatever strings that could be attached. 

They find a diner, and conversation flows naturally. Vic insists they order way too much food—Vic’s way of trying to discreetly make sure Anna has more than enough leftovers to feed herself for a little while longer. It’s patently obvious to Anna what Vic is doing, and it confirms to her that Vic is offering to be kind, and not because she wants anything in return, and Anna isn’t sure how she feels about that. Anna asks Vic about herself, and just enjoys listening to her talk. Vic tells her all about firefighting, about Seattle, and about her time so far in Jackson. They both pointedly avoid any conversation related to what brought them to Montgomery. 

“So, where up north did you live?” Vic asks, sipping on a strawberry milkshake. Anna freezes. 

“Oh, um, I went to school in DC,” Anna replies carefully. She can’t tell if Vic has placed who she is but is just not mentioning it or if Vic is truly still not sure. 

“What school?” Vic asks. “One of my friends went to George Mason,” she adds. 

“Georgetown,” Anna replies. 

“Oh, wow, that’s awesome. Did you like it?” 

“Um, well enough,” Anna says, trying not to give too much away. 

“What made you decide to move back?” 

Anna laughs at that question, and Vic gives her a questioning look. “Have you really not figured out who I am yet?” Anna asks.

“Should I know who you are?” Vic questions. “Are you, like, an actor or something?” 

“I’m the girl who fucked the President,” Anna says, before putting a french fry in her mouth. Vic almost spits out her drink. 

“Oh,” Vic says. Anna sighs, knowing that this about to go sideways. “Well, I’m sorry that the media has been so terrible to you,” she adds. Anna looks at her questioningly—this is the first time anyone’s reaction has been to apologize to her instead of question her or shame her.

“Are you going to ask me about it?” Anna asks. Vic shrugs.

“I don’t particularly care. I mean, I care because he seems like he’s probably a dick and the media is making you into the demon, but, I just want to get to know you, and I don’t particularly care whose desk you bent over or why,” Vic notes. “I mean, I don’t know anything about the situation. You’re not a terrible person just for having sex with a married man. You were an intern, he is the President. He was the married one. I don’t know. If you want to tell me, sure, but I’m not here to interrogate you,” Vic rambles. Anna smiles and bites her lip, noticing for the first time just how cute Vic is. 

“Thanks,” Anna replies. “So, have you made any bad sex decisions you want to share with the class?” Anna teases. 

“Oh wow, where do I start?” Vic asks. Anna takes another bite of her burger. “I slept with my boss’s boss’s boss. Then fell in love with him. All while we were dating in secret. He had already been through multiple divorces. Then he died. Then I start dating a rich doctor who was way too rich and way too self-obsessed for me. We broke up. Then we kept having sex after we broke up,” Vic explains. Anna laughs. 

“I feel like we just went through the entire rollercoaster of human emotions in about twenty seconds with that story,” Anna teases. Vic laughs. 

“Yeah, you could say that.” 

Anna realizes the last time she felt such a natural connection with someone was when she started going out with Brody in high school. And even then, there had always been the secrets between the two of them that walled Anna off from fully being present with him—the shame Anna bathed in every night and the lies she told to cover up the abuse. Vic is easygoing and easy to talk to, and once they start talking about movies, they realize they have a lot in common. 

“I literally watched the Wizard of Oz every day for a month straight after the first time I saw it,” Vic admits, laughing. 

“I insisted on being the straw man for Halloween one year as a kid, and for my costume I went to my friend’s place who owned a farm and he glued hay to my clothes,” Anna replies, belly-laughing so hard she can barely get the rest of her story out. “That’s how I discovered that I’m allergic to hay.” 

“No!” Vic replies, also laughing, a big smile across her face.

“I broke out in hives. Couldn’t see a thing, my eyes were so watery. I cried like a baby and my older sister gave me half her candy because I couldn’t go trick or treating,” Anna explains. 

“That’s a good sister,” Vic points out. Anna smiles and nods slowly.

“The best,” Anna replies. “Still is.” 

“I don’t have any siblings,” Vic adds. “I kind of wish I did, especially when I see people who have good relationships with their siblings.” 

Anna nods, and takes another bite of her burger. “I don’t know what I would do without my older sister, Bonnie. My younger sister, Shelby, and I don’t have the best relationship, but my older sister and I have been tight our whole lives.” 

“Is that like a closeness in age thing or a personality thing?” Vic asks. Anna shrugs.

“Um, mostly a personality thing, I guess.” 

“You’re the dreaded middle child,” Vic teases. Anna laughs at that. 

“I am, it’s what I blame all my flaws on,” Anna retorts. “And since you’re a dreaded only child, we are basically a combination made in birth order hell.” 

Before they know it, they’ve been taking up the corner booth at the diner for hours. Anna has had more than her fill to eat, and they both take leftovers with them. They decide they need to get out before they drive the waitress insane, even though it’s not busy. Vic leaves a more than generous tip, and they head out towards the parking lot. 

“Where are you off to now?” Anna asks. 

“I guess just my hotel room. Where are you staying?” Vic asks. Anna laughs. “What?”

“You’re not allowed to judge me or give me those pity eyes, okay?” Anna insists. Vic nods. 

“My car.” 

“Anna!” Vic exclaims. “No, you’re not. You’re going to get robbed or killed. You’re staying with me.” 

“I’m not here to mooch off of you,” Anna insists. “The car is fine, it’s not that much less safe than a motel room.” 

“Please,” Vic begs. “You’re too cute to be murdered.” 

Anna laughs at that one. “I’ll come over for a little while, but I’m not staying.” 

“Deal,” Vic says, right away. She knows that once Anna is in the comfort of a real bed, she won’t be this excited to go back to her car. Anna follows Vic in Bonnie’s car to Vic’s hotel room, and then asks if she can use her bathroom. Once in front of the mirror, Anna can see bruising forming on her neck. She thought all of the marks on her body were hide-able, so she’s mortified to realize she’s been walking around with a handprint on her neck.

“Do you mind if I take a shower?” Anna calls from the bathroom.

“Not at all, go for it,” Vic replies. Anna embraces the warm water, soaps, and fluffy towels provided by the hotel. In the shower, she takes the opportunity to survey her body. She has some bruises and even a couple of cuts, but it could be significantly worse. Anna pulls the towel around her body and washes her clothes in the shower, leaving them to dry. 

“You didn’t tell me I have a handprint on my neck,” Anna points out, sitting down on the only chair in the room. 

“I kind of figured you knew,” Vic replies, awkwardly. Anna laughs.

“Knew I had been choked? Yes. Knew my neck had bruises all over it? Not so much,” Anna laughs. 

“Looks pretty fresh,” Vic notes. Anna looks down at her phone for the time. 

“About twelve hours,” she replies. “Didn’t think it was that bad.” 

“So this was, like, a fun choke?” 

“Yeah,” Anna replies, too quickly. Something isn’t adding up, and Vic is getting suspicious. 

“You know you can tell me if someone is hurting you, right?” 

“Nobody is hurting me, and I don’t need all of your fucking pity, Vic,” Anna snaps. “I don’t need someone to save me just because I’m poor.” Vic’s face changes immediately. Anna sighs. “I’m sorry, I’ll go get my clothes.” 

“Anna, no,” Vic insists, following Anna into the bathroom. “This isn’t pity. I know what it’s like, okay? I’ve slept in my car. I have not had money for food. I have not had anywhere to shower. I don’t pity you or look down on you. It’s obvious that you’re fucking brilliant, you went to Georgetown and then worked at the White House. You’re clearly resourceful and you’re funny as hell and real and kind,” Vic rambles, and then she takes a deep breath. “This is really hard for me, okay? I have never had an abortion and I’m terrified. I don’t know anyone in this entire city, we were being harassed by people telling us we are murderers, and I’m going to spend the next 48 hours alone in this room thinking about how maybe I am evil. That lunch with you was the best time I’ve had in a long time, and I like being around you, and I won’t be able to sleep at night knowing you’re sleeping in your car. Please stay,” Vic begs. “We don’t have to talk about the bruises or anything. Just stay.” 

And that’s how Anna finds herself in Vic’s extra pair of pajamas, sitting next to her on the bed. 

“You’re not a murderer,” Anna reminds her. Vic laughs.

“I feel like I need to have some kind of sob story in order to justify this decision, otherwise I’m going to be called a murderer for the rest of my life. Like, since I got pregnant from sex I consented to that was just a bad decision, and this pregnancy wouldn’t kill me, even people who purport to be pro-choice will always judge me on the merits of this decision,” Vic explains. 

“I won’t,” Anna promises. “Your choice is your choice. The reality is that nobody else knows or is entitled to know what goes into that decision other than you.” 

“The, uh, sex partner? He would kill me, and I feel guilty that I haven’t told him.” 

“Rich doctor ex?” Anna assumes. Vic nods. “I mean, you don’t need his consent. Don’t tell him if it’s just going to cause both of you hurt and pain and anger.” 

Vic leans her head onto Anna’s shoulder. Anna intertwines their fingers, just enjoying the quiet intimacy of being near another person. 

“It’s pretty gross how those people were just, like, spending their Saturday harassing people outside an abortion clinic,” Vic notes. “As if this is an easy or fun decision for anyone. As if anyone wants to get an abortion.” 

Anna runs her free hand through Vic’s hair. She’s glad her new friend is a loving, touchy person. Anna has always been physically affectionate, but only with select people. 

“I can’t believe you couldn’t get this done in Jackson,” Anna admits. 

“There’s like, one clinic in Jackson, too. And they were booked up for weeks, and I really didn’t want to have to wait until I needed the surgical procedure,” Vic explains. “Plus, I am working, as a firefighter, and being pregnant is fucking terrible on my body.” 

Anna nods in understanding. She thinks it’s ironic that in this moment, the universe has given her a person she connects with, who she will likely never see again after they leave Montgomery. 

“Do you think you’re going to stay in Alabama, or are you just here waiting for the press to die down?” Vic asks. She’s eyeing a pretty gnarly bruise on the top of one of Anna’s thighs, a clear palm print. She can see that Anna’s body has been beaten up pretty badly, and gets the sense that it wasn’t just some kinky sex, like she’d originally hoped. 

“No idea,” Anna replies. “I have no job anywhere else, so, I don’t know. I studied politics and clearly will never be able to do anything in politics ever again.”

“You can reinvent yourself, pick a new career, a new city, start all over,” Vic encourages. 

“I tried that already, and failed pretty miserably,” Anna notes. “I really hurt my family and friends when I left them alone. I just abandoned them and wasn’t able to help them out at all.” 

“So, learn from your mistakes, and do it better this time,” Vic suggests. “Look, I didn’t go to college. But I know that to get into Georgetown when you’re poor and from the middle of nowhere in Alabama? That’s basically unheard of. You have a gift. Don’t settle in Alabama just because you think it’ll make other people happy.” 

“I wasn’t meant to be anything more than this,” Anna replies. 

“Yes, you were. You were meant to be more than sleeping in your car covered in bruises.” 

“I thought we weren’t talking about that,” Anna reminds her, a bit annoyed. Vic sighs, and picks her head up, moving so that Anna is sitting between her legs, back to her. 

“I don’t know what you’ve been through. I don’t know what you’ve lost. But I know that this world tells girls like us that we are worth nothing until we believe it, no matter how many times we try to tell it it’s wrong. All we can do is keep getting up and telling the world that it’s wrong.” 

“I don’t even really like sex,” Anna confesses. “All I ever wanted was to sit in a classroom and learn and then explore the world. But my whole life I’ve been defined by what other people want from my body. Sex is a moment of power or, at its absolute best, a moment of forgetting, for me. It’s never been something I chased after or wanted. I didn’t ask to be a whore. And now that’s all the entire world knows I am.” 

“You’re not a whore,” Vic scoffs. Anna laughs in disbelief. 

“I am,” Anna replies. “It’s all I’ll ever be, really.” 

“Anna, you’re not a whore.” 

“You want to know where I got the bruises?” Anna asks. She turns so that she’s sitting cross legged, facing Vic. “The abortion costs $500. I made $250 in the last two weeks working as a waitress. I drove into town last night and fucked half the city for the other $300. All of these bruises all over me? Men who paid some other man for 30 minutes so they could fuck the whore who fucked the President.” 

“Anna,” Vic says, her voice lower, her lip quivering just a little. “Stop calling yourself that.” 

“I was ten years old the first time a grown man shoved his dick in me and called me a whore. Twelve when I had a baby, who is now fifteen and, to this day, reminds me that I’m a whore. Fourteen the first time my body was ever exchanged as a chip in someone else’s drug transaction. Sixteen the first time someone else made money off of my body. Then I was twenty-three the first time the President of the United States bent me over a desk and called me his good little whore. Last night I was strangled and grabbed and thrown against the wall over and over again by strangers while they called me a whore because I needed money to have a fucking abortion. This is who I am, Vic. This is who I will always be, no matter what I try to do to escape it. You can stop being nice to me, now.” 

Anna’s voice is ice cold, and it almost scares Vic. Vic takes Anna’s hand in hers. 

“You are not defined by the way people have exploited your body.” 

“Why me?” Anna asks, rhetorically, looking up at the ceiling. She knows it’s an unfair question. Why Bonnie? Why Shelby? Why anyone? Vic squeezes her hand. 

“Because you’re smart and beautiful, and…poor,” Vic says. “You are intimidating and powerful but vulnerable. Men want to control you and know you don’t have the privilege to hold them accountable.” 

“There’s nothing beautiful about a body that’s been touched by more grimy men more times than I even remember,” Anna says, biting her own lip. She hates crying about it. She cries about it all the time. She cries when she sees herself naked and she cries when she reads about rape and she cries when she looks at Rebel. 

“What they did to you was evil. But you are still beautiful.” 

Anna folds into Vic, letting her head fall onto her chest. Vic wraps her arms around her waist and holds her. 

“The night of my senior prom, my prom date,” Vic starts. Anna shakes her head.

“You don’t need to finish that sentence,” Anna mumbles. She doesn’t want Vic to feel like she has to share her trauma just because Anna told her about hers. 

“I want to,” Vic admits. “I wanted to have sex with him. We had been going out for a few months. We danced all night, then we went to an after party. I got nervous because it was going to be my first time having sex, and I was an inexperienced drinker, so I got trashed accidentally. I was so drunk I could barely walk in a straight line. For the longest time, my last memory was of stumbling over a rock in the backyard. Then I woke up in his bed at his parent’s house the next morning, naked. He was out but his friends were in the other room, they all started laughing about how crazy the night before was, but none of them would tell me what happened. I didn’t know if they were just trying to mess with me or what, because I had no memory of anything. I never spoke to him again, so, deep down I knew. But a couple of years ago, I had a dream where he raped me. It was like all of these flashes of that night that I thought were lost were suddenly there. I could see myself stumbling around and him taking off my dress and I could…feel him on top of me. Hear him and his friends laughing about how drunk I was. I woke up in the middle of the night sweating and was so sick that I spent the whole night in the bathroom throwing up. It was the most…visceral, real dream I’ve ever had.” 

“Do you think it was real?” Anna asks. Vic nods. 

“I think it was my body remembering what my brain didn’t.” 

“I know I barely know you, but I love you,” Anna whispers. Vic laughs. 

“I love you,” Vic replies. It’s not a romantic love, for either of them. It’s purely that “I care so deeply about you and want you to be okay” love. That love is valid, it’s important, it should be communicated. “I’ve never told anyone. I feel like I’m not really a survivor because I don’t even really know for real what happened to me and I didn’t have to suffer it in the moment even if it did happen to me, and….” Vic trails off. “I don’t know what happened. Maybe he didn’t know how drunk I was. Maybe I told him I wanted it.” 

Anna rubs her back gently, and then moves them to lay down, so that Anna is resting her head on Vic’s chest. “I was sober every single time a man put his hands on me, and I still managed to convince myself that I didn’t know what really happened and maybe I was making it up, or maybe I was misremembering, or maybe I told him I wanted it, or maybe I didn’t tell him I didn’t,” Anna admits. “Your trauma is real, and you deserve healing,” Anna tells her, pressing a kiss to her shoulder. “We live in a society where sexual trauma is practically synonymous with womanhood, especially for women who are not white or wealthy,” Anna adds. Vic nods. “And where healing is a privilege gatekeeped by class.” 

“You are every bit as smart as I guessed you were,” Vic teases. Anna cuddles closer to her and Vic pulls the blanket up over them. It’s still only early evening, but Vic can see that Anna is fading fast. She figures the few hours of sleep she got in her car earlier were catching up to her. She’s only known Anna for a few hours, but somehow, she feels like she knows Anna better than she knows most of her friends back in Seattle. Vic runs her fingers through Anna’s hair, and the soothing feeling helps Anna fall asleep in her arms. The sight is absolutely precious, and Vic can’t help the way her heart skips a beat. She doesn’t really know how to categorize how she feels—all she knows is she likes this feeling, of holding Anna, knowing Anna is safe, knowing Anna cares for her. Anna sleeps for a few hours, and Vic doesn’t move. She doesn’t fall asleep, but she closes her eyes and relaxes, genuinely relaxes, for the first time since she left Seattle. 

“Tell me about firefighting,” Anna mumbles eventually. Vic’s eyes fly open, and she’s surprised to see Anna looking up at her. 

“What do you want to know?” Vic asks. She takes a glance at her FitBit and sees it’s already 9pm. 

“I don’t know, I just like hearing you talk, and I like learning,” Anna explains. “Teach me.” 

Vic kisses the top of Anna’s head gently. “So, I’m really good at preserving my oxygen in my tank,” Vic starts. “It’s an important skill, since, you know, it does eventually run out. There are breathing techniques that allow you to conserve oxygen. It’s also kind of a mental game,” Vic starts. She rambles on and on, explaining how she conserves her oxygen and how she breathes and how it has helped her in real fires. Before she knows it, Anna has fallen asleep again. Vic laughs and settles in to try to actually sleep this time. 

It’s not the smoothest night ever. Some of the people in the rooms next to them are loud at night—some bed squeaking, some screaming, some crying. Anna’s body gets heavy and hot against Vic’s, and in trying to adjust positions, they accidentally bump heads. Anna is one of those people who wraps herself up in the covers, leaving basically none for Vic. Vic finally wakes up, only half of her body covered, Anna’s head on her arm making her arm lose circulation, and the room far too hot, to the sound of the upstairs neighbor screaming about wanting her drugs. But she has to admit, she feels joy. She hasn’t felt this kind of joy waking up in bed next to someone ever. Anna rolls off of her and tugs the rest of the covers with her. 

“You are such a cover thief!” Vic accuses, spooning Anna and her ball of covers from behind. 

“I like to roll myself up in things,” Anna mumbles. Vic kisses the side of her face without even thinking, it’s just her natural instinct. 

“Anna burrito,” Vic teases. “Okay, I’m going to shower,” Vic informs her. Vic takes her sweet time, knowing she’s not paying the water bill. She wraps herself in the towel and brushes her teeth before heading back into the room. Anna is waiting to use the bathroom, and is appreciative for the new travel toothbrush provided by the hotel. When Anna walks back in, Vic is sitting on the bed, just wearing her towel still. Anna gets back in so she can cuddle with her. 

“What’s the best coffee you’ve ever had?” Vic asks, out of pure curiosity. Anna laughs at the random question. 

“You’re going to laugh at me,” Anna warns. “So when I lived in D.C., the office of the White House that I worked at would do coffee occasionally, and we always went to a place that made this rose coffee drink thing, I don’t even know how to explain it. I don’t even really like rose things? But I would always get that.” 

“That doesn’t sound like coffee,” Vic teases. Anna laughs. 

“I was pretty bougie,” Anna admits. Anna adjusts herself a bit more, such that she’s on top of Vic, and can see the few drops of water still clinging to her skin. It feels more intimate. “What about you?” Anna whispers, appreciating their closeness. 

“I’m not a coffee snob, so, I will drink anything,” Vic teases, to break the tension. Anna gasps.

“Rude!” Anna insists. 

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding,” Vic assures her, letting her hand rest on Anna’s hip. “Best coffee I ever had was some Italian espresso drink that my friend’s girlfriend, who is from Italy, made.” 

“Who is the bougie one now?” Anna replies, her tongue poking out of her mouth in amusement. Vic looks up at her and they realize that suddenly they’re mere inches from each other. 

“Do you feel this?” Vic asks, not even sure what she means by “this.” This connection, this tension, this lust…this. Anna doesn’t answer—she just leans down and places a soft kiss on her lips. She pulls away with a smile and then starts laughing, which is not exactly a comforting reaction for Vic to witness. 

“Um,” Vic starts, and Anna sits up and bites her lip adorably. Vic looks at her expectantly. 

“Sorry,” Anna replies, still smiling. “I have never kissed a girl, and that was sweet and cute.” 

Vic also laughs, and tugs Anna in for another kiss. They share a few soft kisses this time, Vic’s hand on the base of her neck, just feeling each other out. Anna’s hand finds Vic’s hair and she massages her scalp gently. Anna smiles against Vic’s lips, a little chuckle falling from them, and Vic kisses her bottom lip to tease her before pulling back and laughing.

“Do you really think this is funny?” Vic questions, amusement in her voice.

“I think this is fun,” Anna clarifies. “Promise. You’re beautiful and sexy and cute,” Anna adds. Vic shakes her head and laughs. They sit in silence for a beat, Anna trying to figure out what she wants. “Can I kiss you for real?” Anna asks. 

Vic has absolutely no idea what they’re doing—somehow, they feel like they’re both having their first kiss all over again, except a lot sweeter. Vic nods. She doesn’t know what she feels or what Anna feels, she just knows she’s happy to play around with Anna for now. Anna leans in again, and this time places one hand on her cheek. Anna gives her another soft peck before opening her mouth, sliding her tongue into Vic’s mouth. Vic embraces the soft, wet, feeling of Anna’s tongue in her mouth and she tastes the mint from her toothpaste. Their lips press together and then Anna adjusts the angle of her head before kissing her again. They get lost in the feeling of their tongues touching, noses brushing, lips pressing together, and teeth nipping at each other. Anna lets out a little moan against her mouth when Vic sucks on her bottom lip and Vic feels the rush of arousal run through her body.

“Oh,” Vic mumbles, against her lips. Suddenly, things click. She isn’t just kissing Anna because it’s fun and they’re bored and fooling around. She’s really, deeply, genuinely attracted to her. 

“Oh what?” Anna asks, pressing her lips against Vic’s again, softly this time. Anna licks Vic’s bottom lip and then touches their foreheads together. 

“Oh I feel things,” Vic says, with a laugh. 

“What kind of things?” Anna asks. She brushes their noses together and Vic just enjoys feeling close to her. 

“Like…sexual things,” Vic mumbles. Anna smirks, and puts her mouth next to Vic’s ear.

“Can I tell you a secret?” Anna asks, a teasing tint in her voice. Vic nods, and bites her lip to contain her smile at how unbelievably cute Anna is. “I feel sexual things, too,” she whispers. Anna kisses right below her ear and then her lips again, before laying back on the bed, still wearing just Vic’s extra pair of pajama shorts and oversized tee shirt. She reaches for Vic and tugs her on top of her. “Come kiss me.” 

Vic frames Anna’s face with her arms and lets one of her hands play with Anna’s hair, before leaning down and kissing her slowly once more. Vic lets her tongue slip into Anna’s mouth and it quickly grows hotter. Vic controls the kiss, deepening it. It’s messy and hot and both of them let out little sounds when it feels particularly good. Anna bites Vic’s lip and they both let out a sigh. Vic’s hand slowly roams down Anna’s arm, resting on her bicep. 

“Can I touch you?” Vic asks. “Only if you’re comfortable.” 

Vic is so gentle with her, it makes Anna’s heart melt. Not once in her life has anyone approached her with such care. Anna nods, and tugs her a little closer again. “Only if I can also touch you,” Anna teases. Vic lets her towel slip off, finally, leaving her naked on top of Anna. “Holy shit,” Anna mumbles, scanning the naked body in front of her. She bites down on her bottom lip and sucks on it. Anna rolls them over and climbs on top of Vic, her mouth finding her neck while her hands cover her breasts. Vic leans her head back to expose her neck to Anna’s mouth, and a little moan slips from her mouth when Anna sucks on her pulse point. Anna gently squeezes her breasts and licks up her neck, before letting her right hand fan out across Vic’s hip and her stomach. 

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” Anna mumbles, kissing across her collarbone and then down between her breasts. Anna sucks one of her nipples into her mouth, and watches Vic’s eyes fall closed and her mouth open in arousal. Vic’s back arches and presses her chest up to Anna’s mouth. Heat rushes through her body as Anna sucks on her nipples and then bites one gently. Anna lets one hand run between Vic’s legs, pushing them apart and then running her fingers between her folds. “Fuck,” Anna mumbles. Vic is soaked, and Anna can barely believe what she’s feeling. Vic whines and squirms under her and Anna slowly slides a finger inside her. Vic moans at the feeling of Anna’s finger pushing gently inside her. “You like this?” Anna asks, before kissing all over her breasts. 

Vic moans in response, and Anna adds a second finger. She’s never fingered another girl before, but she quickly figures it out. She moves her fingers around until she finds Vic’s sensitive spot. 

“Oh, fuck,” Vic groans, her hand finding Anna’s hair, holding her to chest. Anna smiles, and climbs up her body to kiss her while she builds a faster rhythm with her fingers. Vic’s wraps her legs around Anna’s waist, crossing them, so that Anna can move deeper and faster. “Ohhhhh,” Vic moans. They kiss for a few minutes, until Vic breaks the kiss because she can’t concentrate any longer. All she can think about is Anna’s fingers hitting her g spot over and over, filling her over and over. 

“You’re so fucking wet,” Anna almost growls into her ear. Vic moans and Anna bites the sensitive spot under her ear. Anna’s fingers are soaked more with each thrust. They both lose track of time, caught up in touching and feeling each other. 

“Oh, fuck, I’m gonna cum,” Vic moans. She’s never felt like this in her entire life–she’s losing all control over her body and her pleasure, giving herself to Anna completely. Anna doubles down on her efforts, a big smile spreading across her face. This is the most fun she’s ever had during sex. 

“That’s my girl, cum for me,” Anna encourages, pushing her head a bit up so she can bite the sensitive skin on her neck. Her hand is exhausted and her muscles sore, but she tries to flatten her palm between her thrusts so she can rub her clit. Vic’s eyes roll back and she lets out a scream when she cums, her body shaking with pleasure. Anna fingers her through it, until Vic grabs her bicep and Anna gets the hint and slips her hand out. Vic lets her legs unravel and catches her breath. Anna sits back on her legs and slowly brings her fingers up to her mouth. She licks one before sucking them both into her mouth. Vic catches her eye and bites her lip. Vic tastes good, and Anna is excited and proud of herself for making Vic feel good. 

“Fuck,” Vic mumbles, making eye contact with Anna. She leans up and pushes Anna over, and Anna laughs as her back makes contact with the bed once more. She sees Vic hesitate for a moment, her fingers going to the hem of Anna’s shirt. 

“I’m not fragile,” Anna reminds her. “You’re sweet, I love that. But you can touch me, I’m not going to break.” 

Vic pulls her tee shirt over Anna’s head and takes a second to stare at the full, round breasts bare to her. “Wow,” Vic mumbles, leaning down to kiss Anna gently. Seeing Anna’s bare waist, stomach, hips, and boobs makes Vic seriously question why she has never slept with a girl before. She straddles her hips and Anna tugs her down for another kiss and her hands roam Vic’s bare back.

“Beautiful,” Vic reminds her, whispering in her ear, before trailing kisses down her neck. Vic sucks on Anna’s pulse point and Anna moans and tips her head back, arching her back. She is determined to replace all of the hostile touches with soft ones, tracing the bruises on her neck with her tongue, careful not to press on them. It’s more than time that Anna has her body worshipped. Anna’s legs wrap around Vic’s hips and she starts grinding her center on Vic’s stomach. Vic tries to keep her still while she sucks and bites on the soft skin all over her neck. Anna moans her name when she bites the spot where her neck meets her shoulder, and it makes Vic temporarily forget where she is. 

Vic kisses her defined collarbone and then kisses down between her breasts. She takes one in her hand and starts to kiss all over the other. Anna’s back arches up, pushing her chest towards Vic. Vic finally leans down to put one of her hard nipples in her mouth. Anna moans at the sensation and Vic sucks on it harder before soothing it with her tongue. After she gives her nipple a good sucking, she tries to suck some of her boob into her mouth. Anna has never been so wet in her life, another moan falling from her lips. Vic pulls back and licks and kisses her boob to tease her before pressing her face between the two of them. Anna’s hand finds the curls on top of her head and she holds her face between her boobs.

“You’re beautiful, Anna,” Vic says again, just looking up at Anna. Anna blinks, wondering if she’s imagined all of this. But then Vic gives her other boob and nipple the same treatment, and Anna gasps when Vic scrapes her teeth gently on her nipple.

“Vic,” Anna mumbles desperately. Vic tries to hold her hips down as she kisses down her body. She stops at the hem of her shorts and looks up at Anna.

“Are you going to...? You don’t have to,” Anna replies, sitting up a little, unsure what Vic is up to. 

“Please, I want to,” Vic assures her. She sits up so she can kiss Anna’s lips again. “I don’t know what I’m doing but I want to make you feel good.” 

Anna laughs, because that is an incredibly relatable sentiment at the moment. Vic tugs Anna’s shorts and underwear off and gets back into position, Anna spreading her legs out for her. Her pussy is visibly soaked, and Vic closes her eyes and licks her bottom lip on instinct. She can smell her and see how her upper thighs are glistening with her spilled arousal and she can’t wait to make this beautiful girl feel wanted. Vic licks her inner thighs and Anna moans and her back arches again, her hands grabbing the sheets. The sight is like nothing Vic has ever seen before. 

Vic finally spreads her lips with her tongue and moans into her. Her taste is addicting and Vic holds her legs open, hooking her arms around them, while licking from her clit to her opening over and over. Anna has never had anyone go down on her, in her entire life, not once. All she can do is moan and squirm on the bed. One of her hands finds Vic’s head, cradling her neck and running her fingers through her curls. Her other hand finds her own boobs, squeezing one gently, feeling her hard nipple press on her palm, still wet from Vic’s mouth. With each lick, Anna feels pleasure swirl in her stomach and it’s the best feeling she’s ever had. Vic slides her tongue inside her and they both moan with how it feels. Vic eats her whole pussy, licking and sucking her lips, just exploring and tasting and trying different things. Then Vic kisses her lips and teases them with her tongue, making out with her pussy. Anna tugs her head closer and moans again as Vic sucks on her labia gently. Vic’s whole face is wet and she loves it. 

Her arousal is still spilling out of her and coating her pussy and Vic’s face over and over. Vic pays closer attention to her clit, starting to lick it over and over in a rhythm. Anna’s back and hips both fly off the bed and Vic holds her hips down to keep her mouth on her clit, licking the sensitive bud. Anna feels like she’s about to cum, and she can’t believe it. It’s been so long since she’s felt like she was going to cum from anything other than her vibrator.

“Ohhh, oh fuck, oh Vic,” Anna moans. She’s so glad it’s the middle of the day, and most people aren’t hanging around the hotel to hear her about to scream. “Fuck, ohhhh, I’m there,” Anna mumbles. Vic holds her hips down and legs open as she licks her clit fast over and over. And suddenly, Anna’s back arches, a dirty moan leaves her mouth, and she starts to cum. Anna’s body shakes on its own accord and all Anna can do is close her eyes and feel the single most euphoric sensation she’s ever had in her life. Her pussy pulses and spills more arousal on Vic’s face as Vic licks her clit. She’s determined not to stop. 

Vic keeps licking her, and at some point, her Anna’s orgasm fades into her just moaning out of pleasure and writhing on the bed. It feels so good and it’s so overwhelming that Anna’s brain isn’t computing at all. She’s just tugging Vic’s hair and her own nipples and she...lets go. She lets Vic make her feel good. Anna lets out a string of moans and Vic chances a glance up at her body, seeing her pinching one of her nipples, her boobs bouncing a little on the bed. It only takes Vic a couple of minutes of frantic licking her big, swollen clit for Anna to cum again, her thighs locking around her head this time. 

Anna just moans and shakes under her, Vic licking her clit and helping her through her orgasm before Anna pushes her head away, completely out of breath. Vic licks up her body and then kisses her, her tongue going directly in her mouth. Anna has only ever tasted herself when she’d sucked her vibrator after masturbating with it, and tasting herself on Vic’s mouth might be the most erotic thing she’s ever done. 

“Roll over,” Vic asks, softly. Anna rolls onto her stomach and Vic stares at her ass, wishing she had a strap on. Instead, she’ll just have to use her fingers.

“Can I finger you from behind?” Vic asks. Anna just nods, exhausted but excited. From behind has always been her favorite way to be fucked, anyway. She grips the sheets and closes her eyes and Vic kisses down her back before spreading her legs. She can’t help but lean down to lick her pussy from behind for a moment. Anna moans and reaches back to hold her thighs wide open for Vic, an invitation to keep eating her that Vic can’t turn down. 

Vic licks her for a few minutes, Anna loving the different angle and being on her stomach. Vic can hear her moaning and mumbling incoherently into the pillow her face is pressed against and somehow, absolutely everything about this girl is addicting. Vic grabs another pillow and puts it between her legs, and just slowly rolls her hips against it, still wearing her underwear. It’s just the friction she needs, and she starts to suck gently on her clit. Anna’s grip slips on her leg and she can’t believe she’s about to cum again.

But this time, Vic moans onto her clit as she humps the pillow, and when Anna moans and cums hard, all over her face, Vic cums, too.

They’re a mess of sweaty bodies and limbs in a pile afterwards, both trying to catch their breath. Anna rolls back over, and Vic gives her some room. After a few minutes, they both decide that they need a shower—Vic’s second of the day, which Anna is sure to tease her about. They both just wash off their bodies quickly, and Vic takes the opportunity to kiss Anna’s neck again. 

“This makes me angry,” Vic admits. “This had to hurt,” she adds, tracing the outlines of the bruises on Anna’s neck, clear shape of a palm print and finger prints emerging. 

“Yeah, I mean, I wasn’t thrilled,” Anna replies. She doesn’t want to talk about it. She’s glad Vic was able to touch her and fuck her without talking about it or drawing undue attention to any of the marks on her body. She’s glad Vic still wanted to touch her given what her body looks like at this particular moment. 

After the shower, they get back in bed and pull out some of the leftovers from the night before. Vic tosses them in the microwave and Anna questions Vic about whether it’s appropriate for them to ask the front desk if they can get another pillow case. Vic turns to her, confused, and then sees Anna holding the pillow that had been between Vic’s legs earlier.

“Oh, that,” Vic replies. Anna laughs. 

“I mean, not that I’m adverse to sleeping with my face on the pussy pillow, but I don’t feel like I’m going to get a lot of sleep if all I can smell is your pussy.” 

Vic is equal parts humored and mortified by Anna’s comment, and puts her hand over her face for a moment until she’s distracted by the microwave beeping. 

“Oh my god, please never say the word pussy again,” Vic insists. Anna laughs and drops the pillow, walking over to wrap her arms around Vic from behind. 

“Says the girl who just spent her last hour eating pussy.” 

“Okay, it’s lunch time,” Vic insists, a small smile of amusement crossing her face. Anna takes the plate of leftover nachos and they sit cross legged on the bed to eat. 

“Are you religious?” Anna asks, a bit hesitant. Vic raises an eyebrow. 

“Um, yeah, sort of. I guess. I was raised Catholic, but kind of drifted away from the Church as I got older. I don’t go to services or anything anymore, but I still consider myself Catholic,” Vic explains. “You?” 

“I was also raised Catholic, basically everyone in Happy was. When I was a kid, I loved church. It was a safe place for me, until it wasn’t, you know? But, somehow, I still get comfort from believing,” Anna explains. “I was just thinking.” 

“About?” Vic asks, picking up another chip. 

“I will walk by faith even when I cannot see,” Anna says, before taking another bite of food. “When I decided to leave D.C., my sister, Bonnie, got me a notebook that said that. I think I stopped believing in it somewhere along the line, I started becoming sick of blindly walking into trouble. But yesterday I blindly walked into…this,” Anna explains, with a small smile. “Even though it’s, you know, temporary.”

“The best things usually are,” Vic replies. They eat in silence for a few more minutes. After Anna cleans up, they decide to put some real clothes on and go for a walk around the area before they lose the daylight. It’s Alabama in the summertime, so it’s brutally hot, but they embrace the opportunity to feel the fresh air on their skin. 

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to, but can you tell me about your daughter?” Vic asks, a bit hesitant. Anna sighs.

“Her name is Rebel. She’s fifteen. She’s not really my daughter, not anymore. I mean, I gave birth to her and all that, but she was ten when I left to go to D.C., and she basically hates me, for abandoning her,” Anna explains. “It’s hard. I feel terrible, obviously. I’m just glad she still loves Bonnie, and her brother, Mac, who is my sister Shelby’s kid. I really struggled to parent her, because being around her just made me think about him. Every time I looked at her I saw him,” Anna adds. Vic squeezes her hand for a moment, but they’re cautious not to hold hands, not wanting to make a scene in downtown Montgomery. “I love her, and I care for her, and I think she’s just going through it. I won’t ever be her mother, but I hope that one day, we’ll be family again,” Anna says. 

“Does it change your calculus at all with this decision, this weekend? Actually having a kid?” Vic asks. Anna shrugs. 

“I mean, I love Rebel, and I’m glad she’s on this Earth. And I would love to redeem myself and show that I can be a good parent. But the reality is that this is not the time or situation for me to do that. If I bring another baby into this world, I’m just going to set this baby and me up for a lifetime of abuse and control and pain. And it certainly wouldn’t fix my relationship with Rebel. So, I think it probably helped me feel more confident that this is the right decision.” 

Vic sits with that. She feels like Anna has trusted her with not only a lot of information about her private life, but also what seems like a massive secret—that the President was abusive towards her, that she is pregnant with his baby, and that she is having an abortion in part because she does not want her and this baby to be abused. 

“I, uh, know this is only temporary, but I hope you know that everything you’ve told me is staying between us,” Vic reminds her. Anna laughs. 

“Honestly, once I have this abortion, I don’t even care if he finds out. He will no longer have the power he thinks he has. I’m not scared of men anymore. I refuse to be,” Anna states, plainly. Vic has to admit, she admires Anna’s conviction. Anna puts up a tough and fearless exterior, but Vic doesn’t think it’s real. 

They talk for a while longer, about life, about Seattle, and D.C. Once they find their way back to the hotel, they decide to take a quick drive to McDonald’s, because Anna is craving more french fries, which she blames on pregnancy. They snack on french fries and McFlurries in Vic’s car and Anna takes Vic’s chin in her hand. 

“I love your little butt chin,” Anna remarks, leaning in to kiss it playfully. Vic laughs, but before she can respond, she hears a honk. A man gets out of the car parked next to them and gives them the middle finger. 

“Fucking dykes,” He yells, and then walks away. Vic and Anna start laughing. 

“Wow, that was a lot,” Vic says, trying to catch her breath. Anna smiles.

“This is the first time I’ve been called a dyke, and I kind of love it,” Anna retorts. Vic throws a french fry at her face and then they decide that it’s time to head back to the hotel. 

They both struggle to fall asleep that night. Anna doesn’t steal the covers and the sounds of people yelling and car alarms going off is downright annoying. Vic wakes up in a cold sweat at about three in the morning after a dream where she’s being buried alive. In the morning, they’re both painfully quiet, and the shift in the mood is palpable. 

“I didn’t think I’d be this nervous,” Anna admits as she puts on her clothes. Vic just nods, not really knowing what else to say. They decide they’re going to go for coffee afterwards before they both have to separate, that way they have something to look forward to. But it’s still sad. Neither of them are looking forward to the procedure, and even less so having to go back to their lives. Anna holds Vic from behind, and they just spend a few minutes in the comfort of each other’s arms. 

They drive over to the clinic in their own cars, and share glances as they pass the same protestors who they saw the other day. 

“It’s not too late to change your mind!” One voice calls. It’s a high pitched voice, so Anna turns around, and is surprised to see a blonde girl who couldn’t have been more than ten years old. She’s holding a poster that says, “I am the pro-life generation.” It breaks Anna’s heart to see a kid too young to even have kids or develop her own opinions on the matter being used as a pawn to guilt adult women into have children. Vic tugs her along, and they make their way into the clinic. 

The deja vu sets in as they sit across from each other in the waiting room. Vic is called in first, once more, and Anna gives her hand a comforting squeeze, avoiding the gaze of the receptionist. The procedure is uncomfortable but not nearly as bad as Anna feared, and it only takes a few minutes. Afterwards, they meet back up in another room, since they both have to wait for about thirty minutes for monitoring until they will be allowed to leave. 

Vic spends most of the thirty minutes on the floor in the bathroom. Anna follows her in and sits next to her, not feeling particularly great, but extremely glad she’s not feeling nauseous. After Vic finally throws up, Anna holding her hair, she rinses her mouth and then gets back on the floor with Anna. She lets her head fall onto Anna’s shoulder and the tears start falling. 

“The hard part is over,” Anna reminds her. “You did it. I’m proud of you.” 

Vic cries even harder at that. Neither of them are feeling up to coffee. So, instead, they climb into Vic’s car and just sit there in silence. 

“You feeling better?” Anna clarifies. 

“A lot better, yeah, I think it was just the anesthetic that hit me wrong,” Vic replies. They hold hands, and Anna runs her fingers over Vic’s palm. 

“I need to get going,” Anna mentions. She knows Vic does, too. They both have long drives ahead, and work early tomorrow morning. Vic pulls her in for a hug. 

“I won’t forget you, Anna.” 

Anna bites her lip so hard it bleeds. She’s determined not to cry. She fails. 

“I won’t forget you, Vic.” 

They don’t exchange phone numbers. Anna doesn’t even have a phone these days, and knows that even though she’ll probably get one at some point, she can’t have Vic’s phone number. This weekend needs to fade into a distant memory, a safe space in her mind for her to revisit when she needs. If she has Vic’s phone number, she’ll never move forward. Vic kisses her in the middle of the parking lot and they’re both messy crying and blaming it on the fact that it was just a really emotional day. After a promise that they’ll both stay safe, Anna gives her one last hug and then gets out and walks over to Bonnie’s car. 

She stops to fill the car with gas, paying in cash with her last $20. The wind blows strong around her, her flannel almost flying off her arm, her hair blowing as she stares out at the empty fields. Anna cries most of the way home. She doesn’t even totally understand why. Maybe it’s just the hormones. Maybe it’s the fact that she really likes Vic. Maybe it’s the fact that Vic made her remember that she is worthy. Or the fact that she knows she’ll never see or hear from Vic again. For all she knows, Vic might die in a car crash on the way to Jackson, or maybe she’ll live until she’s 103. 

Anna will never know, because Vic’s life was never hers to be entitled to know about. 

Her face is tear stained, her head is pounding, and her uterus is cramping painfully when she makes it back to Happy. She finds herself pulling into the parking lot of the local Catholic church she attended growing up. She gets out and walks in, glad to see that it’s empty, as the service ended more than an hour ago. She takes a seat in a pew, and looks around. 

She never would’ve guessed that an abortion would be what brings her back to God. 

Years later, against all odds, Mac and Rebel both get into college and are able to attend. Rebel, who is clearly Anna’s daughter despite all of her denial, wants to go as far as she can. Rebel and Bonnie end up negotiating and agreeing to let Rebel go to Tulane in New Orleans. Mac stays a bit closer, choosing to go to Auburn. Shelby goes off to rehab in Birmingham and it finally starts to seem like it’s sticking. Once she gets out, she finds a job and a halfway house that becomes her second family. 

Bonnie moves in with Brody after Dr. Allen passes. It takes them all time to get past the idea that maybe Anna was the one for him all along. Anna and Brody both had to admit that they missed what they could have had. But even when they tried to reconnect, it was never the same. The reality is that when Anna left, Anna and Brody grew apart, and Bonnie and Brody grew together. 

Anna never tells them about Vic. But the memory of her 48 hours in Montgomery help her decide that it’s time to start over, once again. She leaves Bonnie and Brody in Happy to start graduate school in New York, in social work. She misses city life, and figures New York is big enough that she can find anonymity. 

She moves into a one bedroom apartment in Brooklyn with two other girls that she finds on Craigslist. She has basically nothing to her name, but she starts working as a bartender on weekends and, for the first time in her life, feels like she’s really making her own way, on her own terms. One Saturday morning, Anna is studying in a nearby coffee shop when she hears her name. She looks up, and feels like she’s seeing a ghost. 

“Vic?” Anna asks. They both stare at each other, not sure if this is real. Anna looks completely different from the last time Vic saw her—her hair is up in a ponytail and she’s wearing athletic shorts and a NYU Social Work tee shirt. She’s more muscular and less exhausted and bruised and she looks more confident. Vic is wearing the same yellow dress she was wearing the day they met, but it’s shorter on her now with the muscle she also put on and she’s wearing a leather jacket over it. She’s wearing red lipstick and looks vibrant and sexy all at once. She takes Anna’s breath away.

“Anna, wow,” Vic replies. Anna stands and squeezes her with a big hug. Vic closes her eyes and rubs Anna’s back gently. 

“What are you doing here?” Anna asks, finally breaking the hug. 

“I, uh, just moved here. NYFD was looking to bring in some new blood from other cities, and I was looking to try something new,” Vic replies. “Are you…in school?” Vic asks, a smile on her face. Anna nods.

“Social work, yeah. I moved a couple of months ago.” 

“Wow,” Vic says, again. It’s all either of them can manage. 

“Are you on your way somewhere, or, do you have some time to catch up?” Anna asks. She’s nervous suddenly—she hasn’t seen Vic in a few years at this point, and even then, they only knew each other for 48 hours. 

“I have the day off,” Vic replies. 

“Let me buy you a coffee,” Anna offers. “Take a seat.” 

Anna comes back a minute later, with another latte in one hand for herself, and a hot drink for Vic. 

“Italian espresso,” Anna explains, placing it in front of Vic. Vic melts at the fact that, years later, after no contact, Anna remembers her comment about the Italian espresso. 

Somewhere between the hours of conversation at the coffee shop and the walk to Vic’s place, something clicks into place. And when Anna’s back hits the bed and Vic pulls her dress over her head, she feels like she’s home. 

After they touch and kiss and lick every inch of each other’s bodies until they’re thoroughly exhausted, they lie next to each other, reflecting on the day. Anna takes Vic’s hand in her own, and says, “I felt God in Montgomery.” 

Vic’s taken aback, because they’re both naked and the word God just came out of Anna’s mouth in a non-facetious way. But she sits with Anna’s comment, running her fingers through Anna’s hair gently, and eventually nods. 

“I feel God when I look at you.”

**Author's Note:**

> i am not sure anyone is reading this non-existent-pairing fic, but if you are, thank you :'). i know this was a heavy one, but i hope you are satisfied with the ending, and please, drop me a comment to let me know you read it and what you thought!


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